Why a professional MC is your wedding wingperson

Now that you have said "I do," the spotlight shifts from the ceremony to the festivities that follow. So, it is time to ask: Who will be your trusted wingperson for the remainder of your wedding day? Will it be your second cousin twice removed, armed with a charming smile and a tendency for lengthy anecdotes? Or will you entrust this crucial role to a seasoned professional MC, someone who not only knows how to work a microphone but also possesses the skills to ensure your wedding reception unfolds seamlessly?

Sure, the idea of saving a few dollars by tapping into the talents of a friend may seem tempting. After all, they know you better than most, right? But what might slip under the radar is the sheer amount of work that goes into turning all your plans on paper into the best day of your lives!

Because let's be real, an MC's role goes far beyond merely introducing the speech-givers – that's the easy part! The true essence of this role lies in being the unsung hero who liaises with all your vendors, meticulously revises and manages your run sheet and ensures that your priorities are not just acknowledged but honored. And if that means a bit of timeline finessing, consider it all part of the professional MC's artistry.

Wingperson Duties:

1.    Run Sheet Mastery: Crafting a run sheet is more than listing events; it's a skill that is perfected with practice. A professional MC takes the lead in revising and managing your run sheet, ensuring that every element is flawlessly executed, from your grand entrance to your first dance as a married couple.

2. Vendor Liaison: You have put together an amazing team of wedding vendors – from your caterers to the DJ/band, from the florist to the photographer. A professional MC acts as the conductor, coordinating with each vendor to ensure they are in sync, creating a harmonious experience for you and your guests.

3.    Prioritising Your Moments: Your wedding day is a series of moments, and no one understands that better than your celebrant. After all, we are professional moment makers! A professional MC will take the time to understand what your highest priorities are, your essential moments, and as your MC we will make sure that they take center stage, even if it requires a bit of timeline adjustment.

4. Stress-Free Celebration: By entrusting the role of MC to a professional, you free your friends and family from the responsibilities and burdens of managing what is arguably the most important (and expensive!) day of your lives. That is a lot of responsibility! By employing the services of a professional MC, everyone can kick back and join in the celebration without worrying about the logistics. And you don’t have to worry about them having a few too many drinks!

In short, a professional MC isn't just a master of ceremonies; they are your wedding wingperson, your behind-the-scenes hero orchestrating a flawless celebration.  I might be biased, but it is money well spent I would say!

Photo with thanks to: Tatiana Rose Photography

Want to get married without having a wedding… I tell you how!

While lots of people want the whole, she-bang of a big lavish wedding, there are plenty of couples who want to get married without the wedding… And that is where I come in!

Whether you want to skip the expense of a big wedding, you can’t think of anything worse than all of those eyes on you or you are planning on having a ‘wedding ceremony’ overseas but want an Australian marriage certificate, it is totally possible to get married without having a wedding. In fact, it is easier and cheaper (just another reason, if you are still sitting on the fence).

Often referred to as a ‘legals only ceremony’ or a ‘registry style ceremony’, it is a simple ceremony, performed by an authorised celebrant… (Well, hi there)… That ticks all the legal boxes needed to get you married without any of the hassle or headache of a wedding.

Have you ever performed a legals only ceremony?

I have performed LOADS of legals only ceremonies in my time. I actually love them! They are usually super relaxed, filled with good cheer and they get the job done with minimal fuss!

Where can we have a legals only ceremony?

Essentially you can get married anywhere that the Marriage Act prescribes you can. Some of my favourite legals only ceremony locations have included:

·         A favourite café

·         The kitchen bench

·         The beach or another scenic location that means something to you

·         At a loved one’s bed side

·         In a hot air balloon

·         On the top of a mountain

·         In a pub

·         In their backyard

·         In the middle of a field

You name it… I will marry you there!

Can we just sign the paperwork, or do we have to say something?

That’s a good question. No, you cannot just sign paperwork. Some words have to be said both by myself and yourselves in order to be married. But trust me they are minimal!

In fact, once the ink dries on your marriage certificate, we can have it all said and done in 3 minutes flat!

That’s really short, can we make it longer?

Absolutely! Like I said that is the legal minimum. I can add some other wording to make it feel more like a wedding ceremony. You can also personalise it further with vows, a ring exchange or a question that you both answer ‘I do’ to. All of which I will step you through!

Do we have to dress up?

If you want! Hell, you can wear your pj’s if you want to! But if you are going to do that make sure that you let me know, so that I can wear mine too!

Is it really that easy?

Umm, yes!... Of course, you will still need to jump through the legal requirements of getting married, like submitting a Notice of Intended Marriage, providing identification and any other legal requirements that the Marriage Act requires of you… But other than that, you can be married with minimal fuss and your bank account intact.

Your celebrant,

 Mel x

An Open Letter to Grooms Everywhere...

Dear Groom,

You are getting married! Congratulations…. Now here are just a few things I want you to know…

The Big One

Let’s tick the big one off, right off the bat… Chances are most of your life, society has led you to believe that weddings are women’s business and that the extent of your role is to say “yes dear” and show up on the day… But guess what, they got it wrong!

Now I don’t expect you to care about every little detail (unless you do and then I love that)… But if we are keeping it real, floral arrangements and colour schemes may not be your thing and that is okay. But I can equally guarantee that there are some details that you do care about. And I would even go as far as to say that there are some details that you should care about, beyond what beer is being served I mean. I want you to get involved, to initiate conversations and to share your thoughts and ideas.

Just remember you are not some schmuck off the street… You are a modern groom that gives a shit! But here is the kicker…Society has not entirely caught up yet and at times it will try and silence your voice… Here is my best advice, don’t let them!

Ride the Wave

Which leads me to my next point… So, we have established that you are a modern groom and modern grooms are ready, willing and able to step into your human experience of getting married (and all of the emotions that come with it).

The funny thing about weddings is that you can never really know how you are going to react until it happens. But when you see your partner at the end of the aisle it can tug at your heartstrings in a way that you were not prepared for. Likewise listening to me deliver your ceremony is one thing but when it comes time to voice your vows… Well, that can hit you like a tonne of emotional, tear jerking bricks… But instead of running from it, I want you to step into that space and into all its raw beauty.

I prepare all my couples to experience every single moment that your wedding day has to offer… I want you to smile hard, laugh loudly and if tears just so happen to fall… I say let them!

Making Mistakes

You are not alone if you are worried about making a faux pas on your wedding day. I hear from my couples all the time that they are freaking out about stuffing up in their wedding ceremony or their speech. And while I can’t help you with your speech, I can totally help you out in your wedding ceremony!

Firstly, I do 90% of the talking, so statistics are on your side.

Secondly, it turns out that the stuff that doesn’t go quite to plan is actually the good stuff! Like when I am asking you a whole bunch of questions and you say “I do” smack bang in the middle instead of waiting to the end… Do you know what happens next? You throw your head back and laugh with a huge smile on your face and it creates one of the best photo moments you can imagine… Plus we all get a laugh out of it and trust me when I say you feel better afterwards (because you have faced your fear and you realise you had nothing to worry about after all).

Or when you start to share your vows and your voice waivers and you stumble over your words… I can promise you that all your guests are thinking is ‘look how much they love each other’… Yeah, they will probably take the piss out of you later but I can guarantee you that they were going to anyway.

Trust me when I say that worrying that you are going to stuff up is not something that even needs to be on your radar… Because I will have your back… And because you are going to embrace it… All of it!

Your Inner Thoughts

Lastly, booked a videographer? Well unless you want everyone to hear your inner thoughts or your groomsmen’s banter for that matter you will need this tip… As soon as your Videographer wires you up, you are being recorded… And trust me, some of the best (and the worst) audio is recorded right before show time.

Your celebrant,

Mel x

An Open Letter to Brides Everywhere...

Dear Bride,

Firstly, whether you have dreamt of this moment your entire life or it is a dream you have only recently discovered, I want you to know that I share in your excitement and delight in every possible way. And it is because of this that I want to tell you…

The best day of your life

If you are one of my brides, you will know that I will do everything in my power to give you the most incredible, most wonderful, most perfect wedding ceremony on your wedding day…. And while it may very well be the best day of your life so far, I don’t believe that it should be the best day of your life full stop.

I believe this for a few reasons. Firstly, to think the ‘best’ day of your life has come and gone and nothing's ever going to live up to it again, is well, just depressing...

Bride, you will have other days that will bring you untold joy… When you get the keys to a new house, when you achieve a goal that you worked hard for, the birth of a baby or simply catching snowflakes on your tongue. These days will equally fill your heart with the joy and pleasure that you have come to expect of your wedding day.

A life well lived means curating an endless stream of incredible moments… So yes, while your wedding day should be amazing, life should also continue to leave you breathless and giddy and reaching for your loved one, long after your wedding day has passed.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be amazing”

Next up is that your wedding doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be amazing… This was an insight that a future bride shared with me and I have never forgotten it.

The reason being that I just know that when her wedding day rolls around it is going to be all sorts of amazing! Not only because she is marrying the love of her life but also because she will not be distracted by the pimple she gets 2 days before the wedding, or the fact her florist wasn’t able to source the exact flowers she had envisage or even when two of her guests walk in halfway through her ceremony… And it is because she will be too busy being present and fully immersed in the moment, to worry about something derailing her joy.

Let me tell you, something will go wrong. Your flower girl might sit down halfway down the aisle and not move for love nor money, the bestman might forget the rings and we will have to ask to borrow your parents’ cherished wedding rings (true story) or anything else that you think would be your worst nightmare… But it turns out that is actually the good stuff!!! My advice is to embrace the spontaneous moments as they are what makes it your wedding day and not someone else’s.

The wedding day of your dreams

This next one, I don’t blame you for… Society is squarely responsible. But my dear Bride, you have been lied to. You have been led to believe that your wedding day is all about you and you should be able to have everything you want… But there will be another person standing at the end of the aisle with you and I encourage you to make space for their preferences and for their voice to be heard.

After all, wedding days are not just about pretty dresses, they are about creating marriages… So, begin as you mean to continue. Marry someone who wants to give you the world… But equally be that person for them as well.

“Don’t you want to look your best”

Which leads me onto my next point and listen carefully… You absolutely do not need to lose weight for your wedding day… Neither do you need to undergo fake tanning, teeth whitening, a years’ worth of facials or anything else that does not make you feel good. Your partner is marrying you, for exactly who you are right now. You are already enough, so don’t let anyone make you feel differently.

Oh, what a drag…

And lastly, please don’t worry or stress about your dress… You let that dress dance over the grass, skip down country lanes and glide effortlessly over farm gates… Trail it behind you like you just don’t care and I promise you that not only will you have more fun doing it but your photos will be even better!

Your celebrant,

Mel x

P.S – Grooms, there is no need to feel neglected… Your letter is next!

Getting the most out of your Wedding Ceremony Questionnaires…

As a Marriage Celebrant, I have performed hundreds of weddings. Literally hundreds of them! And all those glorious weddings have taught me many lessons but the one thing it has taught me above all others, and it is the one thing that I wish all couples everywhere knew, is this…

Your wedding ceremony is a direct reflection of what you invest into it… Want an amazing wedding ceremony? Then give your celebrant great info! It really is that simple… The more you invest in your wedding ceremony, the better it will be…

Sure, any celebrant should be able to create a lovely moment in time… But I can guarantee you that it will be that much more amazing, if you throw that generic wedding waffle out the window and make your ceremony about you… Gosh darn it!

TIP 1. INVEST…

So, you have invested your $’s into a brilliant celebrant who gets your vision and is excited to work with you to create an amazing wedding ceremony experience… But it doesn’t stop there…

Because if you want a ceremony where your guests come up to you afterwards and ask how you know your celebrant (because they have concluded that we must be long lost besties), then my experience tells me you have got to spill the goss on your journey to this point.

On your wedding day, I can guarantee you that I will be there giving it my absolute all, but I can also promise you that it is so going to be so much better if I am there sharing your stories, speaking your words and holding a mirror up to the extraordinary love that has brought you to this moment.

I tell all my prospective couples that my ultimate goal is for your wedding ceremony to feel and sound like the two of you (because how can we possibly get it wrong if it does both of these things). But here is the kicker… I can tell exactly how amazing your wedding ceremony is going to be after reading your questionnaire responses for the first time.

So, I am asking you to inspire me, to get me excited, get me saying “nawww” out loud and get me laughing. If you do this, your ceremony is going to write itself and it is going to be all sorts of amazing!

What I am not asking you to do is slave over it (that’s my job) but I am asking you to care about your ceremony. To take a trip down memory lane with me and reminisce over some of the moments that have led you here. If you do that you can trust me to bring your relationship to life, when it counts the most.

TIP 2. TOGETHER EVEN WHEN YOU ARE APART

As marriage celebrants we all have different ways of engaging with our clients to elicit the very finest information. My preferred method is through questionnaires.

I love questionnaires because they allow you to do them, when you are feeling it most. They also allow you to really consider your responses, ensuring that your celebrant is working with your best answer not your first answer.

I request all my couples to complete two questionnaires. The first is a ‘ceremony planning questionnaire’ which elicits information about the structure of your wedding ceremony. This one I want you to do together, so that we can make sure that you are both on the same page. It provides you with an opportunity to really hash out your wedding ceremony vision. On the same page? This one will be a breeze… Got slightly different visions? Well, gosh darn I am glad we worked that out now, not halfway through your wedding ceremony! If that’s the case then, this questionnaire is perfect for blending your ideas together into one combined vision.

Next up is your ‘love story questionnaire’, this questionnaire is specifically designed to elicit the ‘content’ of your wedding ceremony. And personally, I love it when couples fill these out separately!

But I didn’t start out doing it this way… What I found time after time was that one person completed the bulk of the questionnaire and then the other would come along and add the odd titbit here and there. Inevitably this led to me asking a whole bunch of extra questions because… Firstly, it lacked the level of detail that an epic wedding ceremony deserves; Secondly, it often resulted in a lopsided feeling ceremony.

These days, I choose to send out 2 copies of the content questionnaire and it has been an absolute game changer! Doing it this way provides me with an abundance of fun facts and memories that I can weave into the finest narrative. It also provides a beautiful balanced wedding ceremony that has your two voices equally weaved through it.

But the best bit…. It means there are some hidden surprises waiting for you in your wedding ceremony. I often look over mid ceremony and see a couple touched by the fact that the other remembers a moment that they had long forgotten. And on more than one occasion I have heard them say “I didn’t know you feel that way”… And it makes my little celebrant heart do a happy dance!

TIP 3. THE GOLDILOCKS ZONE

Answering your questionnaires doesn’t have to take eons, in fact it shouldn’t!

But there is definitely a sweet spot…

You see, if your answers are too brief, they leave me wanting for more… Equally if your answers are too long, I am left to wade through in search of all the best bits. But there is another option…

In astronomy, the ‘Goldilocks Zone’ refers to the habitable zone around a star where it is not too hot or too cold…. It is just right!

When it comes to your questionnaires this is equally true. There is a sweet spot right in the middle, that is not too short and not too long but is just right.

Let’s break it down with some examples…

Question: Tell me the story of how you meet…

Too short…

“We met on Tinder. It was February or March 2019. I thought she looked nice. We met in person a couple of weeks later. As they say the rest is history”.

Just right…

“We met on Tinder. Ha! That’s not embarrassing, is it? I saw her and I am not going to lie, I thought I didn’t stand a chance, but a man can dream. So, I swiped right and low and behold, so did she! We messaged for a few weeks before I worked up the nerve to ask her out. We went to Three Monkeys Café. I still remember she had ordered this crazy arse drink, called a Hokey Pokey Smoothie and when it came, I had total drink envy. Ha! But the thing I remember most was that she looked even better in real life and she was funny, really funny. I didn’t want that date to end so I asked her out again for the next night”.

Question: Tell me the story of your proposal/engagement…

Too short…

“It was 2020. We went away for a weekend. We went to lunch at this place by the water. Afterwards, I asked and she said yes”.

Just right…

“It was the 10th of October 2020. I had been wanting to take her away for ages, but I knew she would be on to me, so her birthday was the perfect excuse. I rented this little cottage that we ended up calling the Love Shack. I didn’t exactly know when I was going to do it, so I had the ring with me the whole time. I swear it was burning a hole in my pocket! There were so many moments that I was so close but something always got in the way. We found this nice restaurant to go to for her birthday. It was right on the water and we ordered a seafood platter for two. Something we had never done but always wanted to. After lunch we went for a walk along the water and we found this really pretty spot. I looked around and we were all alone. I thought it was now or never. So, I dropped to one knee, the only problem was the whole speech I had prepared flew out of my head. All I can remember saying was “will you marry me?”. She just started crying (happy tears I hope) and eventually I had to ask “so is that a yes then?”. She said “yes” and we hugged and cried happy tears”.

I hope by now you can see that it is the little details that bring a story to life. Both examples are based on the same fictional events. One sticks to the basic facts and while they may be true, they are not very inspiring. The other is the story of a moment in time in all its wonder that is worth celebrating. Just like the little details bring a story to life, they also bring your wedding ceremony to life as well.

Lastly, just remember if in doubt, when it comes to your questionnaire answers, more is always… Well, more! Trust me, I want to write you an AMAZING wedding ceremony, that has you feeling all the feels. That you look back on and can't help but smile… I just need your help to do it!

Want to Love Your Wedding Ceremony Photos... I Make it my Business...

As a marriage celebrant of course, I absolutely want to give you an amazing wedding ceremony experience. I want your wedding ceremony to feel like you. I want it to be about you. I want it to capture your story and I want it to make you fall in love with one another all over again. But that is a given… What isn’t so obvious is that I care about your wedding photos as much as you do… And I want to ensure your wedding ceremony photos are absolutely gorgeous!

Chances are you have handed over a hefty portion of your wedding budget to the best kick arse photographer that money can buy, and as your celebrant I make it my business to ensure that your ceremony photos are something to be celebrated!

Liaise with your Photographer

Firstly, I love working with the same photographers over and over again. If you stood back and watched a photographer and celebrant who regularly work together, you would notice it is a dance of sorts. I know where they are going to be and when. And with a quick glance we can both tell what the other is thinking and most importantly what needs to happen next.

However, if I am working with a new photographer for the very first time, I make an extra special effort to catch up with them before the ceremony. I will advise them if there are any special elements to your ceremony, as well as incorporate any special requests they may have.

Guests

Before you have arrived, I take the time to get your guests seated. Some may say it is hardcore but I literally will not start until all the seats along the aisle at a minimum are filled (in the nicest possible way of course). Trust me nothing ruins an epic walking down the aisle shot faster than empty seats!

Standing position

Your wedding parties standing position really does matter, including where your celebrant stands. It is my preference to stand to the side for the first half of your ceremony. If you want to know more, I have written a whole blog post about it here.

But the short version is that your celebrant standing to the side looks amazing in your photos. It gives you a variety of looks in your wedding photos but without someone creeping over your shoulder the whole entire time. The truth be told, delivering your script is not always pretty and it is not always a good look. Imagine the two of you lovingly looking into one another eyes and your celebrant is in the background looking like they just swallowed a fly, with one eye closed and their hair blowing across their face while they are mid-sentence…

While I will not tell you exactly how to stand (once again your wedding ceremony should be a reflection of the two of you) but I do load you up with loads of tips to give you the best possible chance of epic photos.

Dress Code

Some celebrants have made a name for themselves by standing out (power to all the neon-frilly-sequin wearing babes out there who shine brightly like sunflowers… I love ya lil’ celebrant hearts), but my goal is to blend into your colour scheme. My aim is to wear something that compliments your colour scheme, blending into your photos and instead have your story and your love stand out!

PA

The harsh reality is that I want all your guests to be able to hear your ceremony (after all that is how we keep them engaged) but as far as I am concerned my PA should be nowhere near any of your photos. PA’s really should be heard and not seen…

Surprise Wedding Ceremony Script

That’s right… I keep your wedding ceremony wording a surprise! I know right… This is big…

Now let me say that I have been a celebrant for many years and I have married a lot of couple in that time. And what I have discovered is this… When your wedding script is a surprise it takes your ceremony to a whole new level of amazing!

A surprise wedding script not only takes the two of you on an amazing journey on your wedding day where you get to remember all the best bits of how you got there but you also get to hear all the incredible and unique things the other loves about you. But from your photographers’ point of view, the best bit is that it is written all over your beautiful face. A surprise script means you engage in your ceremony on a deeper level. No longer a passive witness, instead the joy, happiness, tears and giggles are all captured for the very first time in your beautiful photos!

I know it feels like a leap of faith and if you have any doubts about it then let’s have a chat about what you do feel comfortable with because I promise you it will be totally worth it.

Rehearsal

Rehearsals are not strictly necessary but they do give you the best possible chance of having stunning wedding photos. Many couples choose to forgo one, to save a little extra money, while other couples think they are money well spent. Surprisingly rehearsals actually take longer that your wedding ceremony will do, as there are lots of little elements to a smooth-running wedding. If you are considering a rehearsal you can expect to go through the 'staging' of your wedding ceremony and will help to iron out any potential clunky moments. But if you opt to wing it, I will absolutely load you up with tips and tricks to ensure your images look slick. Plus I will be right there by your side to guide you throughout the whole process.

Ninja Skills

It is my absolute mission on your wedding day to be out of as many of your wedding photos as humanely possible. In fact, your photographer will have to go out of their way to make sure I get in a few shots. With my whole heart I believe your wedding should be about you…. And this should be reflected in your photos!

Lastly, it should go without saying (but I will say it anyway) that I will most definitely be nowhere to be seen when you share your first kiss all over again!

You can thank me later… When your amazing, gorgeous, beautiful photos arrive!

Your celebrant,

Mel x

Photo with thanks to the infinitely talented Stories with Mel

Not vowels… Let’s talk about your wedding vows!

Let’s settle this once and for all, these… A, E, I, O, U… are vowels.  But what we are going to talk about are your amazing, awesome, fantastic wedding vows that everyone will be talking about for the rest of the night.

Vows are the part of your ceremony in which you get to share your intentions, to say the things you love about your partner, to makes some promises or to share some words about whatever the heck you want to, as you get hitched. Great vows are that show stopping moment in your wedding ceremony in which everything else fades away, your guests are zoned in on every word you are saying and time stands still.

But in my experience people can over think them and make them more complicated and stressful than they need to be. So, to get you started I have put together 8 tips and tricks to ensure you knock your wedding vows out of the park.

1.Classic vs Personal

Are you tossing up between traditional vows, that have stood the test of time versus personal vows that speak to who you are, to where you have come from and where you are going to?

Of course, it is a matter of personal preference but in my mind, there is just no going past your words straight from your heart. Personal vows are always my absolute favourite part of your wedding ceremony, they are engaging and they ensure that your wedding ceremony is not only a reflection of you but that they contribute and add to the feeling you want to create for your wedding.

But possibly most importantly they ensure that you start off your marriage intentionally. By their very nature they encourage moments of reflection as well as an envisaging of what your future holds.

2. To Google or not to Google…

We live in the day and age of google first and think second. But on this one occasion I would encourage you to think first and google second. I find that when couples have googled vows, they subconsciously get an idea of what vows ‘should sound like’. I tell all my couples that your vows don’t have to sound any which way. Vows are simply two people who love each other deeply sharing some words from the heart with one another. You just can’t google that stuff. But after you have done your homework, have a first draft, if you still want to google it, go right ahead.

3. Getting started

My celebrant tips is as soon as you decide you want to write your own vows, start a little note in your phone, diary or anywhere that works for you. That way anytime you think of something that you think might be vows material, you can jot it down. Then when it comes time to ‘write’ your vows you are really just editing all the golden moments you already have saved. Presto, you have yourself some killer vows!

I also advocate for starting sooner rather than later. I have seen too many couples set on writing their own vows leave it to the last moment and it just doesn’t happen. In my thinking your vows should be a done deal about two weeks prior to your wedding.

4. Take your guest on a journey  

Really good vows are like a roller coaster ride, in that they take the listener on a journey. Your wedding vows can be funny, sweet, romantic, relevant or heartfelt but they should have your guests feeling all the feels. You might like to aim to make your partner laugh at least once and get a little teary as well.

Your wedding vows should also feel and be about the two of you. Everyone that is with you on your wedding day is there because they love you, so let ‘you’ shine through. It guarantees that your vows will be like no other but please ensure that they are also appropriate. While yes, your vows should totally feel like you, they should also leave everyone feeling uplifted and not cringing. Picture your partners grandmother in the front row, if you would say it in front of Nana then it is probably safe for your wedding ceremony.

5. How short is too short and how long is too long?

I often get asked how long vows should be… I truly believe there is no right or wrong answer to this question. In my time I have heard some truly amazing short vows and I have equally heard some jaw dropping longer vows.

I think what is more important is that you say all the things that need saying, to start your marriage off right. Instead maybe have a chat with your partner and get a sense of how long theirs will be (from a few lines to a page) and work out a happy medium. And if you are still worried, send them through to me and I am happy to take a look for you.

6. Read them

So, you have written your vows and you can picture yourself saying them to the one you love most on your wedding day. Your next job is to read them, and no I don’t mean in your head, I mean aloud. Wait until no one is home and then read them out loud to yourself a couple of times or until the words flow smoothly. I even do this trick for your whole wedding script (yep imagine me walking around my house in my slippers reading out your wedding!) You might just be surprised how much you have to tweak your wording to get the flow that you imagine in your head just right. But after you are crazy happy with them and the words just flow off your tongue, put them away. We want to make sure there is still plenty of emotion on the day.

7. My offer to you

All my couples would tell you I am only ever a call, text or email away, this goes for vows as well. So please feel very free to send me a copy of your vows a few weeks out from the wedding and I would be more than happy to take a look at them for you. But I do ask when you send them through you let me know what you are wanting from me. Do you want me to print them out and bring along a copy on the day or are you hitting me up for some real and gritty feedback to ensure you knock them out of the park?

But more than anything else remember that I am always here to help… With pinning on button holes, handling any last-minute hiccups and with helping you to write some vows that wow! (I promise they won’t be nearly as cheesy as that last line).

8. And like a bad pick up line I am going to tell you to smile…

I have left the most important to last… While getting married is serious business it is also meant to be a joyous celebration of your love. So, for heaven’s sake, smile, laugh, cry, do whatever is real for you in that incredible and amazing moment… But more than anything else be present and let the joy and emotion flow! You can thank me later after you receive your photos!

Your celebrant,

Mel x

P.S I know I said not to google it… But if you are going to, here is a good place to start:

https://www.wedshed.com.au/how-to-write-your-own-wedding-vows-a-guide/

Photo Credit: Stories With Mel

Changing your name now that you are married

Changing your name now that you are married

So, you are now happily married! You have a shiny new ring on your finger and you want a new surname on your identification. So, where do you even start?

I am going to answer some commonly asked questions that will hopefully start you on the right path…

Can I use the official looking marriage certificate you gave me on my wedding day to change my name?

No, while the marriage certificate you received on your wedding day is an official marriage certificate it does not include the necessary inbuilt security checks to use it for the purposes of changing your name. For that you will need an official marriage certificate from NSW Births, Deaths and Marriages. I offer to organise this for all the couples I marry, but you are also able to do this yourself. You can find a link to it here.

When will the certificate arrive?

Your new marriage certificate will arrive via registered mail in about a weeks’ time.

My marriage certificate arrived in the mail, what do I do next?

Unfortunately, there is not just one place where you can go to change your name (although I wish there was).

I generally recommend that you start your journey at Services NSW. By showing your marriage certificate the good folk there will issue you with a new licence or photo identification in your married name on the spot. 

After your photo identification is in your new married name between it as well as your marriage certificate you should be able to change your name everywhere else that you hold an account. What this means in reality is that you will need to carry your marriage certificate around with you everywhere you go and change your name at each individual place you hold an account.

I have changed my name at a few places but I feel like I am missing some…

That’s because there are soooo many places! You probably have already changed your social media accounts but have you thought about some of these other accounts:

The bank, your workplace, Medicare, doctor, dentist, vet, superannuation, passport (but not until after you have taken any holidays booked in your maiden name), your household amenities providers (electricity, gas, water), the real estate agency if you are renting, insurance, gym, sporting clubs, vet, child care services and the electoral office to name just a few.

I recently got married, do I have to change my name?

The short answer is no. Changing your name after marriage is very much a personal preference. Gone are the days where changing your name after marriage was a given. These days when you agreeing to marry, that is all you are signing yourself up for. Changing your name is completely and entirely up to you.

We want to change our names to a brand-new surname; can we still do that using the marriage certificate?

Without knowing the specifics, I would say no. You can use your marriage certificate for party 1 to take party 2’s surname or the other way around. But if you want to blend the letters from both your names and come up with an entirely new name or any other arrangement, you would need a ‘Change of name’ certificate which is a different process. In short, any name change that isn’t a straight swap from one parties’ surname to the other requires a change of name application instead of a marriage certificate.

Changing your name can be a long and at times arduous task, but the good news is you don’t have to do it all at once. I recommend doing the big ones first and then just tick the rest off, one at a time as you get around to it. Changing your name is a marathon not a sprint but just think about how exciting it will be the first time you get a letter in your new married name.

Your celebrant,

Mel x

Photo with thanks to Stories with Mel

Over here or over there... It really does matter...

Okay so you know who you want to stand by your side for your ceremony and have locked down the celebrant of your choice but the question still remains… Where should they stand?

You would be excused for thinking that this sounds like a straight forward question with a straight forward answer but alas things in life are never quite that simple are they.

So, I am going to break it down for you, there are two main options available to you. They are... The celebrant standing in the center with the couple getting married or the celebrant standing to the side (and then to complicate things further there are then a few variations of this as well, but I will talk you through those another time).

I let all my couples know that my preferred position is to stand to the side, just past the last groomsmen or bridesmaid (so that you are not squinting into the sun). The reasons being that it gives you two entirely different looks in your wedding photos. What I mean by this is that for the introduction and the story component I will not be a head hovering between you, killing the vibes and clashing with your colour scheme (but I never do…). This position also allows you to look outwards towards your family and friends so that you can see your mum tear up or your friends in the back cracking up at the funny bits. You truly get to share the experience with everyone you love and adore. Your photographer is also able to get some drop dead gorgeous photos with just the two of you or the two of you plus your dreamy wedding party… And they will be absolutely stunning!

The secondly reason I like to stand to the side is because it provides a strong visual representation that your wedding is not about me. Yes I am there to do the best job possible. Don’t be mistaken I will absolutely deliver a killer ceremony that is engaging, that has your guests feeling the feels, laughing the laughs and hopefully learning something new but make no mistake about it, we are all there to celebrate your love and your marriage. Not stroke my ego.

Having said all of that it is not like I stay up the end the whole time. When we are a little over halfway through the ceremony and have arrived at that time to indeed do what we have come together to do... Get you married... I come and join you; you turn in and face each other, we forget that everybody else is there and the two of you share some truly incredible moments in time. I call it the ‘bubble of love’, for a reason! But I then get the heck out of there, announce you as married and you get to kiss for the very first time all over again!

But I should also let you know while standing to the side might be my personal (and professional) preference it is not the only option. The other is that we form the ‘bubble of love’ for the whole ceremony. Meaning that your celebrant stands in the middle, with the two of you lovingly looking at one another for the entire ceremony. This is a great option for super anxious couples, I even had one bride turn to her guests after doing her vows and say “Oh you are all still here”, it works that well! This position allows everyone and everything else to fade away and to just focus on one another. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a time and a place for the ‘bubble of love’ and if this is your vision, I will happily contribute to creating that sacred space alongside you.

Like with all things in life, there are about a billion ways to do things. There is definitely no right or wrong, it all comes down to personal preference. But my final piece of advice is that before you book a celebrant, you might like to have a chat with them about their preferred standing position as well as let them know what is going to work best for you. My couples can expect me to raise the topic from the very first meeting, because I care about your wedding photos as much as you do.

But I think the proof is in the photos…

Your celebrant,

Mel x

Photo Credit: Stories With Mel

Top 5 tips on how to be a Kick Arse Wedding Guest

So, you’ve been invited to a wedding…

Firstly you should feel honoured that you made the exclusive list! It is official you are an essential member of their tribe and as such they want you there to share in the love. Secondly, I go to a lot of weddings and I can’t tell you the difference an invested crowd of well-wishers makes compared to a group of guests who are politely restrained.

So, here are my top 5 tips to being a freaking awesome wedding guests (that the celebrant will brag about to their celebrant buddies… Yep it is totally a thing):

Arrive on time

5.       It seems kind of obvious but trust me it is still relevant… Your first tip is to arrive on time! If the invitation says to arrive at 3.30pm, be there ready to go at 3.30pm (some wedding parties do actually arrive on time). Alternatively, if the invitation says arrive at 3.30pm for a 3.45pm ceremony… Then arrive at the time you have been asked to, in this case 3.30pm.

Trust me you don’t want to miss the big entrance and even more than that you don’t want to be the schmuck sneaking in after the ceremony has already started!

Sit down already!

4.    Everyone is on their best behaviour at weddings, I get it. You don’t want to steal a seat from the wedding party’s little old granny. But here is the thing, the photos look so much better if all the seats are filled. I literally will not start a ceremony until all the seats along the aisle are filled. So, the next time you are at a wedding and the celebrant asks for volunteers to fill the seats… Get your butt on a seat and know that you just totally earned some serious celebrant brownie points!

Clap until your hands hurt, smile like you mean it

3.       Gone are the days where guests are expected to be respectfully quiet while they try desperately not to fall asleep from the boredom of a generic wedding ceremony that they have heard 10 times before, just with some different names thrown in.

Those days are long gone (yay!) and this new era calls for a new type of wedding guest. Modern wedding ceremonies are a joyful celebration of the couples love and as such it should feel like one. The celebrant is going to do all the hard work but we still need you!  So, when the celebrant asks you to share in the love, go right ahead and do so with gusto! Clap until your hands hurt, smile like you mean it and when you cheer…. Let’s give the neighbors a reason to complain!

Go on… Make your friends feel like the rock stars they are (if only for this one day)!

Put those cameras and phones away

2.       Most people have been to an unplugged wedding ceremony before. But if you are still wondering what the heck it is, it is when the couple have hired a kick arse photographer or maybe a videographer and they are entrusting the trained professionals with the task of documenting their ceremony. The celebrant is going to remind you of the couples wishes and they expect you to follow them… Yes, you too Uncle Barry! So put those cameras and phones away and enjoy this precious moment in time.

Show up ready to celebrate

1.       I have left the most important to last… And it all comes down to attitude. Your attitude! The most amazing wedding guests, are those that show up ready to celebrate! These guests are genuinely delighted to be there, they love the couple getting married and they ooze joy and love. Their excitement is infectious and you can literally feel it in the air. They have put aside any pressures from their own lives and they show up ready to party, right from the very first moment! When enough guests showing up with an open heart and a kick arse attitude it transforms a great wedding into something EPIC that people will talk about for years to come!

Your celebrant,

Mel x

Photo Credit: Stories With Mel

When the bubble pops

I am going to talk about something that the wedding industry rarely does… If you follow your fair share of wedding industry types, you would think that what I am about to say is taboo… And it largely is…

While most engaged couples are busy picking out the perfect venue that captures their vibe, drooling over dreamy dresses, choosing a colour scheme and everything else that goes with planning the wedding of their dreams. But this is not true for every couple.

The truth is that some couples get part way through planning their wedding and life serves them up a curve ball that changes the trajectory of their relationship. Or they simply decide they have a different vision for their life.

Of course, it is absolutely devastating and heartbreaking. Most couples have agonised over the decision and have not come to it easily. But the one thing that I know more than any other is that I never want to add to that pain.

So, this is my promise to all my potential couples… If you should ever find yourself in this situation, there will not be any difficult conversations, any awkward silence or emails filled with attitude. Instead what you can expect is an abundance of empathy, support and love.

Yeah, it’s true, you won’t get your money back (it covers the admin work already provided as well as the loss of income for your wedding date) but I promise that you will have a friend on the other end of the line. A friend that wants the best for you and your life.

Because ultimately, I value marriage. With my whole heart I value the love and security that comes with marriage. I love that you are vowing to be there for it all, the good, the bad and the ugly (who else is going to love you with morning breath and when your hair is looking like a bird’s nest… Or is that just me!). I love the leap of faith that happens when you are inspired by love. That you know that it is not always going to be easy, but it is always going to be worth it.

I can also tell you that I have the honour of standing in profound moments of tremendous love and I can sincerely tell you that there is nothing better. But I want you to be standing there alongside someone who is bursting with pride and whose heart overflows with love for you. Nothing less will do!

I also value not being a jerk…